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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23153719">Resignation</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/crqstalite/pseuds/crqstalite'>crqstalite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Shadow of The Sith - EU [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Hakiojkl Hyperion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:20:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23153719</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/crqstalite/pseuds/crqstalite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hakiojkl Hyperion has been through a lot. Her new subordinate doesn't know when to stop pressing buttons.</p><p>[ Possible trigger warnings for PTSD. Tread lightly. ]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aric Jorgan/Female Republic Trooper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Shadow of The Sith - EU [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Resignation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"a good record doesn't make a good leader."</em>
</p><p><em>rookie, brat.</em> she's heard everything from that man (at least she thinks so) and it's driving her up the walls of the thunderclap. whether her newest addition, elara can tell, she doesn't know. the ex-imperial keeps to herself, and it seems like whenever hakio even steps outside the little line of expectations that aric has for her, it's a snide comment here, an offhanded comment there.</p><p>it gets to her.</p><p>and she's<em> this close</em> to snapping. she hates how he's so blunt about his thoughts too, not even hiding how much he's annoyed by her position. on one hand, she can understand. maybe this position was for him. maybe he should've earned it instead of her.</p><p>but it's hers now, and she doesn't know whether he can tell, but she's working her d<em>amned ass off</em> trying to do her best. </p><p>has she ever run a crew? no, hell no. she didn't intend to leave ord mantell as a lieutenant either, but it happened, and aric hasn't been able to deal, and it's pissing her off to hell and back. she's never been good with her emotions, always on a short fuse. and leaving her with someone else with a short fuse is not a good mix. one of them is going to set the other off, and she doesn't know who it's going to be. they've already argued more than is probably healthy, so that's an even worse sign.</p><p>not to mention her anxiety is getting worse. shaving her hair before arriving on ord was a big enough change, one that scared the shit out of her as a woman with no hair (voonie said it made her look proud of her cyborg modifications and very strong and brave), how the others at the outpost would regard her. but running havoc squad, as it's CO? that's banking on sending her over the edge, as it all gets worse. nights she spends awake because she can't breathe, reliving those weeks she spent half-conscious receiving her cyborg modifications, and then being in the hospital.</p><p>and the tanker.</p><p>stars-</p><p>
  <em>"hey hakio, whatcha thinkin' about?" she turns her head to the miraluka private, who grins at her as he shifts the rifle in his lap. "got that thinkin' look on your face."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"goin' home next week, private. gonna see my brother and his baby, then my sister and her new husband." she responds, retying her hair into a ponytail. originally she'd worn it in it's natural afro, but it was getting hot around her neck and shifted too much against her helmet. "miss em' like hell." she responds as she puts the helmet back on.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"of course, everyone does." he rubs his goatee as he mulls over his own thoughts. "goin' home to my wife in a couple a weeks. merla's gonna have my twins."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"congrats, oz." she says. ozy was one of her favorites in their small squad, even if he was older than her. she had her mother and father, but no uncles or aunts, and while she was still in basic training, ozy filled that roll. hearing his stories about his pregnant wife, who was due when they return. she was already planning to head home to her family, meet persie (tyqin's new baby boy), and then head out to meet ozy's twins, and merla. he looked out for her, told her what she needed to train for, what she needed to study on. only reason she passed basic training and made it through the academy was because of him. "i'll be down there a week after i get home."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"'course, you gotta take care of yourself too, sergeant. merla makes it sound like m'babies are taking their time." he chuckles, before turning back to her. "you take your time to, maybe find you a man to calm you down a bit."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>she doesn't hear anything just as she opens her mouth to laugh at what he says, and the tanker hits something. not until later does she find out what it is, but that scene will forever be burned into her memory. the laughing face of private ozy grell seconds before disaster.</em>
</p><p>a loud rap at the cockpit door makes her jump out of her seat, hand going for her blaster before realizing it's the last person she wants to see at that moment. heart racing, she slides it back in it's holster on her hip, standing rigid as she tries to calm herself. "sergeant."</p><p>"lieutenant." he says. "we were supposed to be planetside half an hour ago, you forget?"</p><p>"no, i didn't." she did. sometimes she got to thinking, trying to calm one panic attack and gaining another. she's stifling tears, thinking about how ozy had never met his twins, but she did. merla and her stayed in contact in the early days, but one day she didn't return her calls, and hakio gave up trying after she was transferred to ord mantell. "just let me get my gear and we'll head out, jorgan." she says, stabilizing her tone, looking in the viewport to see if her eyes were puffy.</p><p>"dorne and i have been ready to go. just waiting on you, as always." he says offhandedly.</p><p>he always has something to say.</p><p>the <em>as always</em> grits against her already bruised skin. she tries to ignore it, but after yet another attack, she can't. she just can't. she's too far gone now to do so, and she just wants to be left alone at this point. private grell, sergeant hyperion, lieutenants young and varz. commander tavarii. all assumed dead until they found her, half alive underneath the rubble, clinging to life. they called her a miracle, a survivor. one doctor had even said she shouldn't even be alive for how long she was under there.</p><p>commander lunar tavarii. a twi'lek woman who didn't take shit from everyone, the one who had to keep ozy from giving her the answers, had to make her find things out herself. taught her how to shoot at point blank range, made her into the soldier she'd was today.</p><p>still had the same blaster the commander gave her weeks before the accident. spraypainted purple, the same color as her skin. had their sigil engraved into the handle of it.</p><p>hakio ran her fingers over it as often as she picked it up.</p><p>offered her some consolation, some solace for what happened.</p><p>"lieutenant?" jorgan's loud voice snaps her out of her thoughts. "do you just want me to take dorne planetside for this mission, if you can't do it yourself?"</p><p>he must be far enough away that he can't see she's breathing hard, heart almost beating out of her chest as her anxiety rises in her throat. she's panicking, having a full-blown attack now and it's scaring her. this isn't the first time she's hand an attack since arriving on the thunderclap, but the first time it's even been this bad. first time jorgan would ever see her trying to recover from one.</p><p>and hell, he's not helping with his stupid comments. her heart keeps racing, and she just keeps trying to breathe. what did he even know? she wasn't him, she wasn't blasted tavus or any of his other COs either. </p><p>
  <em>you're not good enough anyways. why keep trying to prove yourself to the likes of him? you'll never be good enough for him anyways. it's just a matter of time before he's your CO. you've done enough, nearly getting you both killed on taris.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>it'd be better if you just left entirely, then you wouldn't be such a burden.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>you're just his problem.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>leave.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"hakio, please. i don't want you getting hurt." her mother buries her in her shirt, hugging her like her life depends on it. "promise me you'll be careful and stay out of harm's way."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"can't promise that mom. i have a duty to the republic now." she adjusts her formal wear, trying to keep it from creasing before she leaves for graduation. "promise you i'll always come home though."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"all in one piece, i hope." her dad crushes her in another hug, essentially ruining her hair, but she hugs him back with just as much raw strength. "can't half you walkin' around on one of these on your wedding day." he refers to his missing left leg, cheekily smiling as she grins back.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"alright dad. i'll promise that."</em>
</p><p>she couldn't even keep that promise. now he's gone in the hospital in a coma, he'd never walk her down the metaphorical and physical aisle, handing her off to someone, making them promise to take care of her when he was gone. she wants to cry, she wants to slide down on the wall here and now, she needs someone, anyone to just listen to her, to hold her.</p><p>"lieutenant. you can have your personal moments on your own time. we're on a schedule here." he's grown closer, and he sounds more frustrated than he did only moments before, "if you aren't fit to lead, i'm entirely ready to do it for you."</p><p>she's done. something snaps in her as she whirls around from where she was previously standing to gather her things from the weapon locker, sliding her rifle back to where it had been in the gun stand. "you've just got nothing good to say, do you sergeant? every damned comment, every sly remark and retort. i don't know whether you hear yourself when you talk, but you're a fucking asshole."</p><p>she can't bring herself to raise her voice at him. tavarii never did, and she doesn't intend to either. but something about his face changes as tears begin pouring down her face. she can't stop it, all the memories are flooding back too quickly, seeing their families, realizing their soldiers weren't coming back. their wives, husbands, fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers. </p><p>their families.</p><p>when merla was by her bedside, trying not to cry as she told her about the twins, hakio unable to speak. a girl and a boy, at least six or seven by now. at least she thinks. hakio tries her best not to think about the time in between now and then. tries not to think about all the time she's still trying to make up, all the fixing and healing she still needs and can't get on this schedule. they'd just discharge her under psychological reasons, and she can't lose this.</p><p>it's the only thing that she has going for her. if she didn't care for the republic, she wouldn't have continued trying to breathe underneath all the rubble. it wouldn't have been that difficult to let go, as the doctors had assumed she did.</p><p>that she'd been the only one to survive out of everyone because of her survival skills and need to live and need to have a purpose. and now, now she was being ridiculed. she stares him down directly, the first time she's ever looked into his peridot green eyes herself,  "you want my position, jorgan? take it. fucking take it because i'm not putting up with you and your fucking comments <em>anymore</em>."</p><p>her helmet goes rolling across the floor as she pushes past him, dashing past c2-n2 to leave without dorne or jorgan. she's breaking down, she knows that she is as she heads out into the spaceport. she has nowhere to go, she hasn't even contacted garza yet to let her know they've landed.</p><p>well, jorgan would. she knows that he would. just as fast as her promotion arrived, it'd be taken from her.</p><p>maybe she'd just resign.</p><p>stars knows jorgan would be pleased to run havoc without her.</p><p>-</p><p>"is she usually like this, sergeant?" dorne asks as he picks up her helmet. dented by the throw, but she'd received it on ord mantell, only taking it off once or twice in the field to cool off. it's still in pristine condition, surprising by all the firefights they've been in with her wearing it. "is she an angry person by nature?"</p><p>"no. she's not." he holds back a growl. he's not angry with dorne, and he's not angry with hyperion either. maybe, he has been too harsh. he'd only wanted to know what he was working with, and if she couldn't take the heat of the military, he figured she needed to get out before she got burned.</p><p>but she wasn't angry. this was the first time she'd ever stood up to him instead of just letting the words roll off her.</p><p>
  <em>"ran with the junkers a bit." she patches herself up, wrapping a bandage around her exposed bicep, ripping off what she doesn't need with her teeth. she pauses, looking at the roll of bandages like it holds some sentimental meaning to her. "...just got there as a private two years before the accident. got transferred over, got promoted to sergeant while i was there."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>he knows a little about the junkers. never crossed paths with them (the deadeyes often ran missions alone), but always heard good things about what they did on balmorra and corellia. only big thing that he'd heard before their dissolvement was that there was an accident, one that hyperion had been part of. "only survivor after the explosion."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>aric's curious. he thought they'd dissolved after the accident, not that hyperion had been the only survivor of said accident. "never forgave myself after that but...can't dwell on the past i guess." she turns to him over her shoulder, throwing on her undershirt and moving to pick up the pieces of her armor. "let's get going sergeant, hoping to find needles by life day."</em>
</p><p>she's a strong woman, she shows that time and time again. saved him more times than he can count on his fingers and toes, and is a frightening shot with both a blaster and a rifle. the way hyperion throws herself out there for the galaxy is terrifying, and inspiring. that was what he wanted out of a CO, not whatever he had gotten. lately it felt all he was getting was a broken and rundown woman, and he couldn't figure out whether it was because she was getting comfortable or she was getting lazy.</p><p>but, he was beginning to see the chinks in her armor. how loud sounds when they weren't in battle terrified her, how he'd get up early and find her slumped over in the pilot's chair with a datapad in hand, finding that modifications to documents were only hours old. sometimes, she seems to go for days without eating or drinking anything, how she'd always have hands running on her modifications when she was thinking, how she was always running around doing things for people. the zr-57 on ord mantell, it hadn't seemed like a big issue in the beginning, but the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes hyperion didn't have a firm grasp on the situation. she'd ask question after question about the specifics, the radius of damage, what wiring ran through it. <em>she wanted to know because she was comparing it to the bomb that had killed the junkers.</em></p><p>he was beginning to realize that maybe his CO didn't have it all together, even though she tried time and time again to show that she did. aric himself recognized from his previous team that she was experiencing a form of ptsd.</p><p>and he was doing nothing but setting her off.</p><p>his heart drops when he realizes she'd just gone through an episode.</p><p>"this is none of my business, i'm sorry. but sergeant, you may want to talk to her when she returns. she's not alright." elara says, a firm but kinder tone in her voice. genuine concern, good to know from their now resident medic.</p><p>"i can see that, dorne." he says, a growl escaping him anyways. rubbing his temples, he sets the helmet down on the holoterminal. "well, she won't be back for a while, so whatever you need to get done, do it now."</p><p>"yes, sir." she nods curtly and heads back to the med bay. the more he looks at the helmet, the more he realizes he's messed up. that what he's been doing isn't right, and it's clearly taken it's toll on her. he'd done his research on the accident shortly after hyperion had told him about it. the bomb that had taken out the junkers' tanker hadn't been anything near the zr-57, but strong enough to immobilize a republic tanker. done by imperials, he figured. hyperion must've know everything to know about that bomb in the months, years afterwards.</p><p>is he still jealous? yes, quite a bit in fact. the position should've been his. but, hyperion's molded to the role. the way she checks on dorne and he before tending to her own wounds, even after only a couple of fights on the way back to the ship. the way she's awake until he and dorne have settled down, the way she makes sure they have their things before retreating to her private quarters. she cares, but isn't afraid to lay down the law with whoever they're working with.</p><p>she's social with dorne. spent a good deal of time talking to her after acquiring her on taris, one of the few smiles hyperion's ever graced him with. well, graced anyone other than him with. it's been as icy as hoth between them since they left ord mantell.</p><p>this might be her tipping point.</p><p>he's been a horrible person.</p><p>and he doesn't know whether she's coming back or not. dorne seems to just accept it, but knowing what he knows about hyperion, he's concerned she may not walk back through the ship doors. but why does he care so much all of a sudden? this is what he was waiting for, a chance to demote her and become CO again.</p><p>but, something about the scarred lieutenant makes that feel sour just as the thoughts cross his mind. it just feels...well wrong. he shouldn't wish that on her. she's worked hard, just trying to impress him even. but he ignores it, in favor of finding every little issue she's ever had, every little mistake she's ever made.</p><p>which is why when it's late at night, and he hears the familiar <em>shink</em> of the door leading to the outside of the thunderclap, he stands up a bit straighter in the weapons locker, finishing up with her rifle. cleaned and outfitted with a couple of mods he had lying around, he hadn't even realized he'd been working so late. dorne had already had a round through the 'fresher and had an mre by herself by this time.</p><p>her steps are light, even weighed down by durasteel boots. peeking out of the small armory, she's not even looking up at him, holding herself up by the wall of the ship. it seems she can't make it any further by herself, because she slides down the wall and buries her face in her hands. he figures dorne wouldn't hear it, probably sleep by now, but his heightened hearing picks up on her soft sobbing. she would hate for anyone to see her like this, he's met other soldiers like her. they never do, but any comfort from him would make it worse. as much as he wanted this position, he was above putting her down until she actually did resign.</p><p>but he knows her better than dorne does. and while he doesn't know what makes her tick (other than him), he figures he's better than nothing.</p><p>scratching off a letter on a piece of flimsi to her, he picks out an mre. when she disappears to her quarters, he leaves it outside her door and knocks softly. maybe she wouldn't find it until the next morning, but...</p><p>well, it was the little things, he figures as he lies awake in the shared quarters, falling asleep to the sound of dorne's soft breathing across from him. </p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>hyperion-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>you fell asleep before you came back to eat. nothing special, and i know you probably can't find any reason to like me after this afternoon, but take care of yourself. can't get yourself worked up over me if you can't stand on your own two feet.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-jorgan.</em>
</p><p>she drags herself out of bed when she hears the knock. from how soft it is, she figures it's dorne and her mood lifts for a moment. there's a note left with the mre, so as she goes to prepare it, she reads it through blurred eyes. it's not from the medic, and for a moment she panics. what does he want now? did he tell garza about her outburst? is she on the way out? </p><p>once she does read it, she's able to calm down a bit. she's not sure whether someone forced him to write this as an apology, but it lifts her mood.</p><p>she considers resigning again. it was the only thing on her mind today. she didn't even end up leaving the spaceport, she just climbed until she couldn't get down in her current state, right on the top of the thunderclap. nar shaddaa's lights taunted her from outside, but she'd hate to be seen like this by anyone. within or outside of havoc.</p><p>hakio doesn't think she could handle seeing jorgan again after the afternoon. she's embarrassed herself so badly, and stars is this going to haunt her everyday until she dies. he'll never see her as an actual leader again, and wouldn't respect her anymore than he did before she left -- probably less now than earlier.</p><p>but as she picks at the ready-made meal, she considers it. leaving it all behind? and what for? to sit around with nothing but a target to shoot at and no way to express herself as a senator's sister? this was supposed to be her dream, as horrible as it was. this is what she signed up for, this is who she was. she couldn't let one man bring her down, could she?</p><p>yet it still stings, everything he said, everything he made her think was true, everything that brought her down peg after peg until there was nothing left to pull out. is it worth risking her mental health again for him?</p><p>she scribbles a letter back in her loopy script, and padding into the weapons locker, she stashes the paper in between her rifle and his.</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>jorgan-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>i don't just forget to eat. though, i am grateful for your concern over my health.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>i assure you this won't happen again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-hyperion.</em>
</p><p>he finds the card nestled in the weapons locker the morning after. she has better handwriting than he's ever given any soldier credit for. it's curt, short. not a forgiveness, but maybe the steps towards one. he doesn't dwell on it, going about his morning drills on the thunderclap. he doesn't bother to get her out of her personal quarters, content to sit and wait until she does wake at 07:00. but as they head out the next morning, he pulls her aside while dorne is gathering her things just out of sight.</p><p>"something out of line again, sergeant?" she raises an eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest. same sass, but puffier eyes, which the the worst case scenario, makes her look sadly pathetic. </p><p>no, not pathetic. tired. exhausted. done with his shit, if he's being honest. he would be too, after considering everything he'd said to her the night before. he's pressed a lot of people's buttons before, not many enjoyed his company. he, may have pressed too many of his new CO's without her saying a word.</p><p>she was resilent, he'd give her that.</p><p>"no. just...blast it, glad you're back, lieutenant. thought i'd have to run havoc myself." the words spill out of him unintentionally, but the hardened look in her eyes lifts for a moment. surprised at his kindness, she doesn't respond for a moment.</p><p>"oh." she tries not to make eye contact with him, but mutters a 'thank you.' when dorne returns from the medbay and they head off into the bowels of the smuggler's moon. it wouldn't be easy to build any sort of lasting relationship, but maybe he had to stop fighting for the wheel with her. maybe if he let her drive, things wouldn't go so horribly all the time.</p><p>aric jorgan was one thing, he was a soldier. but he was a self-respecting one second, his mother didn't raise a bully, and that's what he was being.</p><p>he'd try better.</p><p>he'd be better.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Another archived fic. This one I did like because I kept mentioning things in Ch. 15 of Shadow (Sins and Sinners) and promptly forgot this story hadn't been told in this universe yet. So here it is. I am deeply sorry if anything offends you.</p><p>I don't hate Aric. I love Mr. Cat Man honestly, he's one of my favorite romances in the game. But replaying him, it seems there's a lot we don't hear and a lot of frustration that we never properly get out of the way except for just telling him to mind his own business. So here we are.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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